These are my writings, indicating current feelings and creativity concerning my faith. Just scroll down the page, to read them all.
Last update: January 14, 2009
The Missing Pieces
The missing pieces leave a vacancy in my wound.
Heartache drains all the energy I need.
Doubt screams into my ear, sounding like a thousand trumpets blaring off at once.
Mellow speeches feel numb.
Nothing can seem to replace the missing pieces.
My body hungers for the missing pieces.
I feel deprived.
Searching for the missing pieces, something more than what it may seem.
Silence overflows my heart.
My mind has fallen apart.
I have forgotten my hope.
Shambled Soul
Shambled soul, my heart breaks while seeing you drowning
In your tears; knowing that you have chosen to forget
Your years.
I know your heart is not listening to what your mind has to
Say. I see your eyes, they are drifting, and they are
Filled with cold, dark shame. Shambled soul, do not let go;
You are not alone. I feel your pain. I know your shame.
And my love for you has never changed. Just take my hand
And never part; my love will mend your broken heart. Lift
Your heavy head and watery eyes; I have been with you from
The start.
Though the days are long, the seasons are not. The burden
You bear will surely part. I will give you strength when
You are empty. Just understand it is never over; your
Hope will grow stronger. And there will be no more shambled
Soul.
Richard Andrew - January 2008 - Rate my poem, Go here
Deliverance
By Richard Andrew
I ran as fast as my legs let me. My heart painfully ached to stop running—but no, I didn’t stop. If I did…No, there was no option!
It was dark, and the trees in the forest were all thick and wet. A rainstorm had recently past by, leaving the ground all muddy and slick—I almost fell down a couple of times. The thing that slowed me down the most was my wet clothes; the rainstorm had been fierce, and looked as though it would soon return. Even though my body desperately wanted to rest, I couldn’t stop. I wouldn’t stop…not if I wanted to survive. Therefore, I ran.
They were after me, those men in dark suits. The world used to be better before those men took over our lives—locking innocent victims up, forcing them to accept the new ways, or choose death. Those that chose death were the lucky ones. Those who remain continue to live each minute as their last, always running and never stopping. I know there is a better world ahead. Things just can’t remain as they are. There has to be some help, some hope that waits to rescue us from this terrible bondage known as the New Order. However, while other victims wait for the arrival of this deliverance, I know that my destiny lies behind the same outcome that my family faced.
It is a dream. I know that it is a dream. What kind of world would allow the New Order the dominance over everybody’s lives if it were not a dream? No world would permit such a horror! That is why I cleave to the notion that this is only a delusion…only a dream. My heart yearns to wake and see my wife and kids again, smiling and laughing—their laughter will comfort me once I wake up! If this is only a dream, when will I awake from this nightmare? When my family sees me sleeping, or when bullets tear into my flesh?
Those dark suited men, who work for the New Order, killed my family. They raided my home and mercilessly killed my wife and children—shot them in their hearts, killing them instantly. I wasn’t as brave. Those idiot men, they left my door open, unblocked! I ran past them, guns firing in the background. Don’t ask me why I ran instead of dying graciously like my family; I can only guess instinct played a part in my actions for fleeing. Nevertheless, I ran into a nearby forest. You see, we were hiding out, my family and I. This world, it is not how it used to be. Hearts used to sing of freedom, but now they only scream from fear. Once the New Order arrived, all former governments bowed down and whimpered beneath the Order’s power. It all happened so fast! It was as though the New Order—BANG—appeared out of the nowhere and began destroying lives by their Law of Requisition. Therefore, you see, I hid my family, trying to buy us more time at life—because I knew that we were next…someone’s always next. I guess I failed them, because they were killed, and there I was, still alive…for however long the Order would let me live.
I ran as fast as my legs allowed me. Even though my heart was pounding out of my chest, and my lungs felt like bursting like a tired balloon, I continued to run. After what seemed like an hour, it began to rain again—heavy rain. I desperately wanted to stop, but I knew that I couldn’t. The previous rainstorm, and now this one, had slowed me down enough for the dark suited men to catch up. It was as though both the rain and the men were working together. As I said in the beginning, the ground was all muddy and slick—that was my fall. I ran to where the trees of the forest had formed a circular, vast, clear opening with only a huge rock resting in place. The ground was too wet and slippery. I slipped and fell straight on my back; my breath left my body for a second. My eyes fell directly on the bright full moon overhead; the light shining from it shot down on me like a spotlight, revealing my silhouette.
The dark suited men from the New Order found me before I could get up. As they ran towards me, I closed my eyes and screamed, “Wait! Please, tell me why!” I opened my eyes and saw that the men had stopped dead in their tracks, so I continued my plea. “Tell me why you have taken away our freedom. Why do you rule over our lives as though we are animals? Why do you kill those who oppose your implacable control? Please, tell me the reason…before you kill me.”
One of the men, whom I suppose was the leader, spoke out, “You fool. If you understood our ways, by the Law of Requisition, then you would have known why we do what we do.” I straightened myself up as the leader turned to his men. For a moment, it seemed like he was confused and didn’t understand their reasons either. As the tensions grew stronger, he faced me again, “The old ways were weak…freedom and judgments made us weak. However, the New Order and its Law knew how to make us stronger. What we merely do is take out the weak, so that we can grow stronger. It is as simple as pulling weeds from the grass.” He forced a faltered smile upon his face. “Do you choose life, or death?”
“I choose death.”
I still didn’t understand why a world would allow this shame, but I then knew why my family died—why dear friends have died also. They died while remaining true to themselves, never succumbing to a sadistic regime. As the rain began to clear, I looked upon the shadowed faces of the dark suited men, and knew that my deliverance had come. The last thing I heard, as my life prepared to close, was the sound from a gun. I was set free. I didn’t need to run anymore. I am awake.
© 2008 by Richard Andrew Gonzalez. "Deliverance" is a published work!